Family Structure

This week we learned about different family theories. One theory in particular we learned a lot on. This was Family systems theory. Family systems theory states that all members of a family have a part to make the family as a whole. Along with this we learned that each family structure is completely different however the ideal structure, the structure that works the best, according to research and according to my religious beliefs, is to have mom and dad be close together with clear boundaries  above the children and to have the children nearby with clear boundaries as well. This structure is the best because when mom and dad are close together things within the family just go a lot smoother and their relationship is stronger. It is important to have mom and dad above the children because children don’t need “friends” or to have to watch over their own parents, they need clear authoritative figures in their lives. It is also important to have clear boundaries because therefore their parents aren’t too involved in their children’s lives like being their “friends” and they shouldn’t be so cut off from them that they hardly talk.

My family structure is very different then the ideal one. However sometimes that’s just what we are handed and we need to make the best of it. We have tried to set better boundaries and have better leveled out relationships however because of homeostasis we all revert to our old roles. I really feel like my family needs to reestablish our roles and stick to them. Hopefully I will learn more to help my family get to this place.

Questions:

 Is it always best to strive for the “ideal” structure? I know in my family I get asked this a lot, “Why are you trying to change us? We are just fine the way we are.”

It’s not that I am trying to change them per say I just want what is best for my family. Should I want to change the structure of my family because that’s the best and easiest way for families to strive and be successful or should I just accept my role and my family structure and continue on struggling but managing?